


Need or want

by Blekna



Category: Alien: Isolation (Video Game)
Genre: Also there will be smut, Alternate Universe, Christopher Samuels Lives, F/M, Fix-It, also this is my first fanfic, i should be studying but i'm so invested in this ship, i started to write this solely for the smut but it morphed into a story, i'm still not over Samuels' death, they deserved a happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:54:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24091675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blekna/pseuds/Blekna
Summary: An AU  where everybody survives and our two lovely dorks finally get a chance to grow closer.
Relationships: Amanda Ripley/Christopher Samuels
Comments: 15
Kudos: 48





	1. Out of Sevastopol

**Author's Note:**

> Okay listen to me, I’m not a writer, and English is not my first language, so I’m really sorry for this mess, but this damn ship got me so invested, I SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR MY FINAL EXAMS FOR GOD’S SAKE BUT HOW COULD I, I NEED THIS. Also, don’t expect any creativity here. :’))  
> Let this fanfic be a reminder that **this ship is still alive!** All the works in this fandom are just pure bless and I really hope it will keep coming, I'm living for it. (This is my first fanfic and I write it just to let off the steam, but I figured ehh, why not post it. So sorry for anyone who stumbled upon this.)

_Is this what death feels like?_

_Silence?_

_Void?_

_Flaring receptors in the stomach area where the hardware is located?_

_Hold on. Receptors…?_

With a loud click, Samuels suddenly opened his eyes. He expected to see the walls of Seegson Synthetics washed in a bright red light of the fire, but instead saw a white ceiling. Lost in the confusion, he didn’t even notice he couldn’t move before another loud click ruptured the silence. Slowly, he turned his head.

“Alright, good as new.”

An unknown voice has caught Samuels‘ attention. He straightened up to sitting position once his software registered he can, and finally took in his environment to deduce where he’s located – a repair room of one of the Weyland-Yutani Corporation stations, with who seemed to be a repairman.

“How peculiar,” he remarked quietly, still looking around as if he wanted to make sure that this is not just a malfunction before an inevitable shutdown.

“They said you were damaged by the Seegson’s APOLLO defensive mechanism,” the man said. “I managed to save your main system. That’s what the Company wanted to save the most, anyway. The rest of it was easy to fix. Android could probably do it too, but right now, you’re my biggest chance for promotion. I’m quite proud of myself,” he grined as he watched Samuels to get up on his legs, looking like nothing ever went wrong with this android in the first place.

Samuels turned his gaze towards the man and nodded politely.

“Thank you for your time. I’ll make sure to speak up for you and your promotion.”

The man just chuckled, visibly satisfied with his work, and reached out for a shirt and well-known olive uniform to hand them over to Samuels. “Yeah. Do.”

Samuels took the clothes and put them on in only a few elegant and precise moves, finally zipping up his vest to finish the process.

“I… I have many questions,” he admitted shortly after, staring into space. Actually, there were so many questions overflowing his system that he was afraid it would lead to another forced shutdown. What exactly happened after APOLLO tried to fry his processor? How did he end up in here? And… where did Amanda end up?

“I don’t have the answers, sorry,” the man only shrugged. “But if I were you, I’d try to ask the brunette who dragged you in here.”

Samuels immediately raised his head. “A… brunette?”

“Yes,” the man nodded. “Your colleague at the Torrens, I think. I’m not sure I-“

“Amanda Ripley?”

Samuels’ interruption clearly surprised the repairman. “Yeah, I think so. Ripley. Yes.”

“Were you informed about her whereabouts?”

“Uhh… I believe she was taken to the Medicals along with the other survivors. Try asking there.”

“Thank you.” 

Is this some kind of an android hallucination? Or did they actually make it out alive? The probabilities of the latter were incredibly slim, but somehow, he was really here. Surely, Amanda was too.

Samuels arrived to the Medicals as soon as he could. He asked about the Sevastopol survivors – everyone seemed to be alright. Even Taylor, who finally underwent a so needed surgery, was apparently getting better while resting in a proper ICU. He went to check upon his colleagues, and mainly, to check upon Ripley. For some reason, he really, really wanted to see her again. Her last words to him still didn’t leave his system, and the more they played on repeat in his head, the more restless he grew as he walked along the corridors, looking for her room.

Amanda was resting in one of the rooms in the quiet, remote section. Or were supposed to be resting. She was sitting at the edge of her bed nervously stomping her feet when Samuels finally found her. Despite her facing the opposite direction, he could already tell with a 100% certainty that it’s truly her by the smallest details he noticed and stored in his system during their journey on the Torrens and Sevastopol. Even though she had her hair loose and her uniform was replaced with a comfortable white tank top and matching panties.

“Ripley…” the android sighed, feeling relieved upon seeing her.

Amanda immediately turned around and her eyes brightened up at the familiar face.

“Samuels?”

“It’s me.”

“You’re alive!”

Samuels couldn’t help but smile at her words and the joy in her tone. Seeing her spring up straight away has truly felt… welcoming. She still treated him as a living being. As a human.

“Are you o-“

He couldn’t finish the sentence. Amanda rushed towards him, desperate to not only hear and see him, but feel him, to close the space between them… she never knew such a strong need for a human or even a synthetic touch. Samuels was taken aback when she practically jumped into his arms and suddenly kissed him.

It was just a quick and a clumsy kiss on the cheek before she buried her face into his neck, hugging him tightly, but it still managed to surprise him. Samuels wasn’t sure how to react. He was searching for some protocols or tips, but it was not fast enough to match the situation. Furthermore, his system was being overloaded by new information he somehow deemed necessary to process, albeit logically speaking, it really shouldn’t be. Her pleasant scent, her soft skin, her tight grip… she was strong, he observed. That unintentionally fueled even more questions. Why would he notice that now? This didn’t help him in the situation at all.

In the end, he just stood there with his arms slightly lifted to not interfere with Ripley’s, speechless and probably very awkward.

“They told me they’re not sure if they can save you,” Ripley said quietly, still holding him closely. “But you’re here. Everyone is okay. We made it.”

Oh, right, there it is. It must have been the heat of the moment. The feeling of gratefulness for being alive. The kiss was just an outlet for her strong emotions relating to the incident, nothing else. Or… was it? The mild squeeze Amanda gave him was a reminder that he’ll have to leave this question for later. For now, she just needs him to be there.

Samuels slowly put his own arms around her body in order to comfort her. But he had to admit… it felt nice. Incredibly nice. He could feel her unsteady breathing, her elevated heartbeat... even the small chuckles that formed in her chest but didn’t make it out as an audible sound.

“Yes. We made it,” he whispered in a soft voice. “You’re safe now, Amanda.”

Samuels felt her slowly relaxing. She raised her head to face him. He could see the tears that were rolling down from her eyes, but her soft smile made it clear that the tears were tears of happiness.

“Did you… have your closure?”

Amanda bit her lip before putting her head back to his broad chest.

“I have everything I need.”

Samuels smiled again, although Ripley didn’t see it.

“So…”

Another manly voice interrupted the moment. Both Samuels and Ripley let go of each other immediately as a doctor walked in the room, his gaze fixed on a clipboard in his hand. Ripley quickly wiped dry her wet cheeks and put her hands on her waist, prepared to listen to another lesson about how she has to take things lightly for now in order to fully heal.

“It seems everything’s fine. Apart from several bruises… but that’s nothing we should worry about. You’re good to go. Though I recommend you to visit a psychiatrist, or a therapist. Considering what you’ve been through, there’s a high probability of developing a stress disorder. Psychological trauma is not a joke any more than a physical trauma. Do you understand, Ripley?”

“Yeah yeah, you know I’m not a-”

“I promise to take good care of her.”

Samuels nodded at the older man in a white coat and offered Amanda a small, reassuring smile. She looked surprised, reluctant even.

“Great. Have a nice day then,” the doctor left, and the room fell in silence.

After what felt like forever, Amanda frowned. “Samuels, this is really nice of you, but surely you have better things to do than to babysit me.”

“Don’t worry about me, Amanda,” he still smiled at her, hoping to convince her through this small human gesture that he means it. “It would be… an honor. You saved me, after all.”

“You were going to sacrifice yourself just so I could get what I came for. I’d say we’re even. Besides, I can take care of myself,” Amanda opposed immediately, turning around to pack her things. Samuels watched her hesitantly. 

“May I help?” he offered himself, already stepping forward to take the big and certainly heavy bag from Amanda’s hand, but stopped dead in his tracks when Amanda flashed him a stern look.

“ _Samuels_ ,” she frowned. “I managed to get out of the alien-crawling station in one piece with minimal aid. I certainly don’t need your help to live like a normal person. I’ll be fine.”

Ripley got back to packing her things, and then picking up her uniform to get dressed before leaving. During this process, Samuels made sure to inspect her and her physical condition. He caught a glimpse of several dark marks on her limbs and few abrasions, but thankfully, nothing seemed to hinder her movements. Not until she had to raise her right arm to put it in the sleeve of the uniform. He noticed a slight twitch and much more careful approach.

“Your right shoulder hurts,” he noted out loud. 

“It’s just strained, nothing serious.”

“It’s an injury nonetheless,” Samuels stepped closer to Amanda and helped her to get in her vest, earning another frowned look. It didn’t stop him to face her with a genuine concern once she managed to get inside the right sleeve. “Please, let me help you, Amanda. At least for a while. You shouldn’t deal with this alone, and I know you well enough to surmise you wouldn’t accept help from a stranger, even though it would be sensible to seek a specialist. I am here for you. As… a friend.”

Amanda saw the seriousness in his eyes. He almost looked desperate. It’s the expression people give their beloved ones when they’re about to do something stupid and reckless. Don’t put yourself in more unnecessary danger, his eyes pleaded. I’m worried about you.

All these emotions that were visible on his face were making him seem even more human than ever before. At this point, Amanda felt like it would be more to Samuels’ ease to let him help. 

“Do I even have a choice?” she sighed, not really expecting an answer. It also didn’t mollify Samuels’ concerns, at least not his puppy face. 

Amanda clenched her teeth before giving in.

“Fine.”

Samuels smiled softly, as if celebrating his small victory. “I promise I won’t get in your way.”

“I hope so,” she said, lifting her bag to rest it on her healthy shoulder. Although her tone sounded annoyed, Samuels would swear he saw the corner of her mouth slightly perk up for a moment. 

“Let’s leave. I can’t stand being here, it… it brings back…”

“I understand,” he nodded and walked her out of the medical room, keeping a certain distance but still being close enough for her to feel safe.

Nobody really paid attention to the woman and android walking along the corridors of Weyland-Yutani station. They merged with the crowd. Amanda ended up giving the bag to Samuels anyway, as he tirelessly insisted on carrying it for her, so she doesn’t have to put pressure on her healthy arm. _It’s the least I can do,_ he said. _I am an android made to serve, this is my purpose, Ripley._ Finally, she’d rather bear the hit to her ego than endure his talks about her selfcare. Why did everyone suddenly treat her like a baby? She went to Hell and came back alive. Is that not a proof enough that she’s capable enough of handling herself?

She stole a short glimpse at the android walking next to her. They headed to Ripley's apartment in the living quarters. The Company gave her some time off to deal with the toll it surely had on her mental state, so they could start interrogating her about the whole Sevastopol incident as soon as possible, but that’s the opposite of what she needed. She just wanted to start living like a normal adult again, unburdened by the thought of own mortality. Unburdened by the memories of dead bodies lying around, the blood stains and smears as the people desperately clung to their lives, and the unbearable smell of rotting flesh. It felt like it's still stuck in her nose, but she knew that in reality, it's stuck in her mind. Just like the image of the alien beast. Its teeth, its claws, its disgusting saliva dropping from the ventilation on the ceiling, waiting for another victim...

"Is everything okay, Amanda?"

Samuels' soft voice startled her a bit. Suddenly, she realized this whole ‘healing process’ really might be harder than she initially thought. "Yeah, I- I'm fine."

Samuels didn't seem to believe her words but decided to respect them regardless.

"We should arrive at your place in 6 minutes," he stated simply.

They took a lift to upper floor, and for a moment, Ripley let herself to close her eyes and relax a bit. Back in Sevastopol, lifts and transits turned into comfortable havens where she could breathe out, since there was no way an alien could get her. As soon as the lift stopped and the door opened, she froze.

“We are here,” Samuels made the first step to walk out, almost as if he wanted to show Amanda that there’s no danger lurking outside, and patiently waited for her to join him. She did, albeit not so confidently. Samuels watched her attentively, noticing her very apparent tenseness, but didn’t bring it up. Instead, he slowly started to move in the right direction, accompanying Amanda to her apartment at the end of the corridor.

“Thanks,” Amanda tried to be grateful, but the intention wasn’t met with her tone or expression, making her sound ironic, perhaps even biting. Before she could muster the power to apologize for her mood in a genuine way, Samuels already outran her with a polite “you’re welcome”. Ripley just remembered that Samuels, as human as he might come across, is still an android and is not that easy to offend or upset as a human would be. He truly didn’t seem to be touched by her attitude, at least not in a personal way. That was very refreshing for Amanda, who tended to be quite expressive and straightforward. 

When they finally stood in front of Ripley’s apartment door, she turned to Samuels and opened her hand to take her bag that Samuels carried this whole way. 

“I could do this by myself, you know.”

“I’ve never doubted that.”

He handed her the bag without objections and watched her to step inside before he followed, stopping in the doorframe to take in the environment of the room.

“Brace yourself,” she joked bitterly as she switched on the weak lights. The apartment was small but felt cozy. Many personal things were just lying around, right next to filthy dishes and clothes. Some of them were in such peculiar locations and states that it made one question how exactly they got there in the first place. It made Samuels smile a little. _How predictable._ Amanda surely wasn’t a cleaning and organizing type of person, anyone would be able to guess that after spending few minutes in her mere presence.

“I’m not surprised,” he admitted with a bit of humor behind.

“It’s a state of the art,” Amanda explained as she threw her bag onto a small black sofa. “I hope it’s not too much for you. Because if you start cleaning, I swear I’ll kick your ass out of here.” The beginning of the sentence sounded genuinely thoughtful before it ended in another sarcastic joke.

Samuels lifted his hands submissively. “Of course. As I promised, I won’t get in your way.”

It was already late when they arrived at Ripley’s apartment. After Amanda told Samuels to ‘go inside for god’s sake’ and even uttered a soft ‘make yourself at home’, he suggested that she goes to rest, assuring her that he will manage with the sofa, since androids didn’t need to sleep like humans and didn’t thereby need to lie down. Ripley, who wasn’t feeling tired, agreed just because she hoped it would prove her capability of taking care of herself without a goddamn supervisor.

“I tell you, you’re wasting your time here. I’m even brushing my teeth, see? Like a big girl,” she said in a mocking voice while showing Samuels her toothbrush. Before she stuck it back in her mouth to continue, she added, much more serious: “I’m okay. I don’t need your help.”

“I apologize if I make you feel… _incompetent._ That is not my intention,” he sounded somewhat regretful, which just made Amanda regret her own biting sarcasm.

“It’s not…” she stopped with a sigh and left the room to spit out the toothpaste. It bought her some time to think her response through. When she came back, she leaned on the doorframe of the bathroom with her healthy shoulder and looked directly on Samuels. “You’re not doing anything particularly wrong, Samuels. I just don’t like to be treated like a baby, that’s all.”

“Well, I can assure you that wasn’t my plan. I just wouldn’t like you to… to hold yourself up to unrealistic expectations.”

“Unrealistic expectations?” she raised one eyebrow.

“After what you’ve been through…” Samuels’ voice has suddenly gotten low and quiet, yet it still proved to be a poor choice of words, because Amanda immediately frowned.

“WE’ve been through, Samuels. I’m not the only one who was there! All those…” Amanda had to shake her head to get the images out of her mind.

“I understand. I apologize for bringing it up,” he responded promptly, hoping it would ease her sudden tenseness. Amanda looked up to him again.

“Why are you here? I mean… why would you treat me differently than the others? Why would you choose to help me, out of all these people?”

That… was a good question. Samuels opened his mouth only to find out that he’s not sure he has the answer. Or, to be more precise, if he has the right answer. Because if he does… then that would mean he’s here out of selfish reason, which is something androids shouldn’t be even able to-

“Forget it,” Amanda uttered.

“Amanda, I-“

“I said forget it,” she interrupted him with a strict tone. “I’m going to bed.”

And with that, she simply turned around to walk away and vanish behind the door of her compact bedroom. Samuels only watched her, looking for something to say or do, but he couldn’t find anything. He just stood there, his gaze still lingering in the place where she was few seconds before.

Why couldn’t he answer? What was that hidden thing in his system that drove him to Amanda? He could sense it, it was there – but for some odd reason, he couldn’t put it into words. The only thing he knew for sure is that Amanda was overriding everything else in his programs, but that didn’t clear anything at all. He was left confused, by himself.

After several minutes, Samuels decided to sit down on the sofa and let some proper and thorough diagnostics run to make sure there’s not a fault in his software. The process could be quite lengthy, but he didn’t have much else to do while Amanda slept, anyway. She clearly wanted to be left alone, and Samuels wasn’t going to defy that. 

It was middle of the night when the android’s audio sensors started to catch up some subtle noises coming from Amanda’s bedroom. It sounded like she’s rolling over in her sheets. Samuels concluded it’s not something he should worry about, but there it was again. Very abrupt and rapid. That made him slightly concerned. _Does she have a nightmare?_

Samuels slowly stood up and carefully approached the door to her bedroom. There, he froze again. No, he can’t just enter and check if she’s alright, that would be a breach of privacy. Furthermore, Amanda clearly expressed her hatred towards an overprotective treatment. This wouldn’t-

Suddenly, he heard raspy, loud gasps. Sounds that almost made it out as a scream, full of pure terror. At this point, reasoning went aside, and Samuels opened her door, almost pushed it out of his way with force, and quickly reached to agitated Amanda to calm her down.

“Ama _n—_ ”

A strong blow right in his stomach violently interrupted his sentence, shaking his inner hardware and even shutting down his cooling system.

It was Amanda’s fist.

She woke up with another terrified gasp, probably due to the fact that her knuckles just crashed with android’s hard and solid body structure.

“O-Oh my god-“

Amanda panicked as soon as she realized who received the hit. “Samuels, I’m so sorry- I didn’t-“

“It’s okay, Amanda,” he assured her softly, while he manually restarted his cooling system.

“What? I just fucking _punched_ you, I-“

Samuels lightly squeezed her hand as he sat down beside her and looked her in the eyes in hopes it would make her listen. “Amanda. Please, don’t worry about me,” he said in a low and calming tone. “I’m okay. It takes much more force to damage a Weyland-Yutani android model. Your hand, however…”

Amanda lifted her arm and shook it off. Sure, it hurt, but she has been through so much worse. “It will fade away.”

“Could I… have a look?” he asked, opening his own hand in an offer, clearly giving her the option to simply decline. Amanda sighed.

“Sure.”

She placed her wounded hand in his, and he slightly lifted it, inspecting it up close. He was being very careful, almost delicate, Amanda noticed. “I presume you’re going to have another bruise,” he finally said, slowly putting it down.

“Yeah well, I… I hit you pretty hard,” Amanda bit her lip, but it just made Samuels smile.

“You did,” he admitted.

“Did it… hurt?”

Samuels raised his eyebrows at the peculiar question. Amanda looked sincerely curious, and clearly still felt bad about punching him. A humanlike empathy, normal and expected reaction to such a thing, but Samuels found it out of place since he’s not human. He’s not even alive.

“Amanda, you’re aware that I’m a synthetic,” he stated simply, confused that he’d have to remind her about such a matter of course.

“That’s why I’m asking.”

Was she asking if he’s capable of feeling pain?

“No,” Samuels breathed in, as if he needed more air in his lungs. Probably an automatic response to make him seem more real. “I am not capable of feeling pain. At least not like you do. But I do have receptors, much like any living organism. I guess you could say that I… _felt_ the hit.”

“So, in other words, it fucking hurt,” Amanda snarked, more angry at herself than at Samuels’ answer. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it, Samuels.”

“I can assure you that’s not the case,” he was quick to rebut. “Although I’m capable of feeling touch stimuli, and I’m also capable of recognizing the level of intensity, it cannot be painful for me. Unpleasant is the utmost the stimuli can get.”

“Unpleasant?” Amanda snorted.

“Yes.”

This time, it was Amanda who raised up her eyebrows.

“Does that mean you can also find some things pleasant?”

Samuels just gave her the most perplexed look she has ever seen on his face. It was kinda cute, she had to admit. It also made her curious if Samuels could blush.

“Yes. Though I’m not sure why would that be relevant…”

Amanda slightly lifted her uninjured hand and gently brushed it against Samuels’ arm, waiting for his reaction. He just stared, properly confused.

“What about this? Is this pleasant for you?”

Samuels wasn’t sure how to answer. He wasn’t even sure he could explain how exactly this made him feel, but somehow, it seemed the term ‘pleasant’ would be quite an understatement. That realization scared him – he has been touched in similar simple gestures many times already, and none of these touches induced such a strong reaction in him. What made this different? Was it because it was _her_ hand? Or was it because of her tenderness? The question and the care she put in her movement almost felt like she wanted the touch to be pleasant for him, like there was more behind the gesture than just simple curiosity. Or did he just wish there to be?

“… yes,” he admitted after a moment of silence. Amanda noticed that, despite his positive response, Samuels suddenly looked very tense, if an android could even be in such a state. She watched him, enjoying the sight of him being so vulnerable and humanly awkward in front of her.

Samuels was torn between the need to run away and stay like this forever.

He didn’t like the fact that he obviously didn’t have his system under control. He should be able to get up and leave Amanda to let her rest, but he didn’t want to. Was there really a fault in his software? He was an android, he shouldn’t have desires, and yet he undoubtedly desired to stay, to lean into her touch even more. If he could feel this… what else was he capable of?

“I apologize,” he suddenly flinched and moved away, slowly standing up from the edge of her bed. “I overstayed. You should get some sleep.”

As much as the weird feeling urged him to stay, it was a small victory for Samuels. A proof that he still has a control over himself, that he’s still capable of reason.

“I guess I should,” Amanda nodded. His flinch didn’t seem to disconcert her at all. She laid back and watched Samuels leave the room.

“Good night.”

“Night.”


	2. As a friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I passed my final exams so I'm back to this. ^^ Also, I might change some things with further chapters, but I'll let you know if that happens.

Amanda woke up quite early in the morning. Normally, she wouldn't get up yet, but there was no way she could fall asleep again now. She straightened up to sit and stretch her limbs. The night wasn’t particularly great, since she had trouble falling asleep after the first nightmare. But thankfully, Samuels interrupted it before it could get worse, and he also gave her something to think about when he left her bedroom.

Amanda caught herself playing absentmindedly with a few hair strands while thinking about him. She also noticed her hair could really use a good rinse. Without any more delay, she got up to have a quick shower. After she dried herself and dressed in some comfortable clothes, she made her way to the small kitchen this apartment offered.

There, she noticed Samuels. He was standing by the counter and he was just turning around to face her, with a cup full of steaming black liquid in his right hand.

“Good morning, Amanda. How’s your shoulder?”

His warm smile almost made her forget their interaction from earlier. “Fine,” she stated simply. Her gaze then fixated upon the cup of coffee as he slowly put it down on a table between them.

“I hope I wasn’t too bold by making you a coffee. I just… thought it would be a nice gesture,” he said when he noticed the confused look on Amanda’s face, as well as her silence. “You do like coffee, don’t you?”

“Well yeah, I do, but do you know _how_ I like my coffee, Samuels?” Amanda asked with a playful smile, expression of a person that just caught a mistake in someone else’s plan.

“I believe I do,” he responded simply, raising a hand to point at the cup as to invite Amanda to check by herself. She leaned closer, and surely, there it was – a coffee black as the background of space itself. That still didn’t mean the taste would be good though. Curious, she sat down and took a little sip while he watched, taking a seat next to her.

To her dismay, it was exactly how she liked it.

“How did you know?”

“Back before we boarded on the Torrens, when we first met, you stopped to take a coffee. I noticed which one you’re taking, so I assumed that’s the coffee you like the most,” he explained it like it should be obvious, but Amanda had a hard time searching her memory for this particular moment even though Samuels described it.

“You remember such a trifle?” Amanda was surprised, but in a nice way.

“Of course. Is it weird?” the sincere doubt in his voice made Amanda chuckle.

“No, it’s just… new. For me,” she admitted, taking another sip of her coffee. She wasn’t used to people paying attention to what she’s saying, let alone to the smallest details as what coffee she ordered that one time at the station. Samuels noticed, remembered, and even used this knowledge to lighten her day. “Thanks, by the way.”

“My pleasure,” he smiled. This time, her thanks sounded truly genuine. Samuels let her drink her coffee in peace, and the room drifted in a pleasant silence for a while.

“How come you’re not working right now?” Amanda asked only to start a chat while looking down into her cup, but the question made Samuels shift in his seat and his warm smile was suddenly gone. It caught Amanda’s attention.

“Well… technically, I am… working right now.”

“… What?”

“I proposed myself to be assigned to… look after you.”

“… Are you kidding me.”

Amanda dropped her cup and frowned at the synthetic sitting next to her, slowly getting up from her chair. It looked like she’s just carefully getting out of reach of a dangerous predator, and it made Samuels uneasy. It was a sudden and extreme change of mood in the room, both of them could feel it.

“The Company deemed it necessary that somebody makes sure you’re getting better, so they could interrogate you w-“

“Oh so that’s why you’re here? That’s why? You just want me to fucking testify?!”

“Amanda, please, that’s not-“

“You jus- ow!” The anger made her completely forget about her injury, which just struck a sharp pain into her right shoulder as she raised hands a little too fast. Her surprised yelp lifted Samuels from his chair immediately, but that startled Amanda again and her reaction clearly signaled him to maintain his distance from her now.

“Amanda…”

“Why the fuck did you ask me then? Back at the medical room? You lead me to believe I actually had a say in this matter…”

“Because you do,” he affirmed her.

“Oh really?” the accompanying snort made it clear that it was meant as a sarcastic remark, not a genuine question. Samuels nodded regardless. “Doesn’t look like it,” she added, evidently not convinced by his nod.

“It’s true. If you said you don’t want me around… I would leave you alone,” Samuels had a hard time saying these words out loud, but it wasn’t apparent, which was an android feature he was grateful for right now. He didn’t want to manipulate Amanda through emotions. Not that android could even be manipulative, or have emotions. “That still stands. Should you change your mind.”

This response didn’t convince Amanda either. “Don’t bullshit me Samuels. You wouldn’t violate an order from above.”

The synthetic just gave her a little, weak smile. “I offered you help as a friend. I wanted that to be clear before you decide,” he explained. “I’m not here because I was given an order to oversee you, Amanda. If that’s what upsets you.”

“Is that right? Then why are you here?” she asked, still tensed up.

“To help you. As you helped me.”

“So what, you’re just returning a favor?”

"... No.”

Amanda slightly frowned while watching Samuels, but this time, it wasn’t because she was mad. This time, it was more out of curiosity. That was obviously better, but it still made Samuels feel small under her gaze. Especially in such a situation, discussing such a topic.

“I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”

The synthetic had to avert his eyes. Being incapable of lying efficiently was another android feature, but this one he wasn’t so grateful for. Sure, he could remain silent or avoid answering in a direct way, but these tactics were useless when she asked him direct questions. If Amanda didn’t know any better, she’d say that Samuels was nervous, perhaps even embarrassed.

“Come on. I want the truth. The actual truth.”

“The truth is that I… care for you, Amanda. Your wellbeing, both physical and mental, is important to me more than anything else.”

Amanda blinked in disbelief. “That… sounds kinda personal, Samuels.”

“I’m afraid it is.”

The room fell in silence for a moment that felt almost like eternity. Samuels didn’t know what reaction to expect from Amanda, and to be honest, Amanda herself wasn’t sure how to process that information. She wasn’t really used to people liking her, in one way or another. She definitely wasn’t used to hearing it, at least. And she had to admit that she started to care for Samuels too – it actually scared her how easily he managed to get under her otherwise thick skin. All this time devoted to building walls to protect herself from being hurt again, from losing people she loved or was close to, it everything fell down with his sweet smile and little gestures, further proving his altruistic nature. He was a synthetic, she had to remind herself. It’s probably just a program, a simple code written by a human engineer… but when she looked into his eyes, she saw a person. Not a machine.

The silence soon turned out to be too much for Samuels, as he slowly stepped towards the door. “I apologize. It would seem my intentions were indeed partly selfish. I understand if you want me to leave.”

Amanda stopped him by grabbing his hand. It wasn’t aggressive, but it was still very firm, which made Samuels freeze in place. Amanda looked at him with a serious expression. “Do you want to leave?”

The android took a moment to think about his answer.

“I shouldn’t _want_ anything.”

“The ’shouldn’t’ makes it sound like you actually do after all.”

_Not the best answer then._

Samuels just stared at her hesitantly. Surely he couldn’t say no. He couldn’t say he really, really wanted to stay here, with her. To be in her presence. What would it even mean? Androids were not supposed to have desires, but this definitely felt like one.

Amanda noticed his sudden insecurity and decided to ease his struggle. She dared to step closer. Even she looked somewhat nervous during the move, which was a weird sight since she always held her posture well. Before speaking up, she shortly lowered her gaze to the ground to think her answer through before saying it out loud.

“You said you wanted to be there for me as a friend. Right?”

“That’s right.”

“Then… as a friend, I ask you to stay here.”

Samuels wasn’t sure he heard correctly.

“You want me to stay?”

“Only if you want to as well, of course,” she added, in case she read him wrong. That possibility was always there, and it sent a shiver down her spine. His silence and unreadable synthetic expression didn’t really make the situation any easier for her. “Samuels?”

“… Christopher.”

“What?”

“By human norms, friends call each other by their first names. My first name is Christopher.”

It made her smile. Although she was afraid of getting close with anyone ever since her parents vanished from her life, she had to admit this was very nice. Despite her fear of reliving the loss of someone she held dear, she could sense that fighting against this peculiar bond would prove to be useless anyway. Her barriers of hostility were ineffective against his pure affection. Finally, she decided to enjoy this moment of peace before it inevitably falls to ruins as everything else. There will be plenty of time for regrets after it happens. She might as well just let herself be happy for a change.

“Christopher,” she repeated after him, as if she tried his name on her tongue. “Sounds nice.”

Samuels wasn’t sure if it was a genuine compliment or a sarcasm, but either way, he wasn’t going to lose his manners. “Thank you,” he responded simply.

“Say, Christopher,” she turned around and walked back into her bedroom as she spoke, leaving Samuels behind in the living room. It didn’t take long before she returned with unzipped trousers and a jacket tucked under her armpit. “Would you like to accompany me to a food store? My fridge looks much better when it’s overfilled with junk food and sodas.”

Samuels was sure he would chuckle if he were human. “I’d like to, yes,” he nodded politely, in a very synthetic fashion. “But I do have some objections regarding your diet…”

“Shh.”

“Proper nutrition is essential, especially when you’re injured, you should be-“

“Christopher, no. No one can take away my evenings full of bad movies, pizza and coke. Not even you.”

The rest of the morning was quite peaceful, so they took their time with everything. Samuels managed to persuade Amanda to buy some fresh ingredients to actually cook a proper meal later, which was something he was very proud of. He succeeded in intriguing Amanda’s natural curiosity when he revealed that he never tried to prepare a food, but was more than willing to try. He wasn’t a housekeeper synthetic after all, he was a business synthetic built mainly to work and negotiate. And he’d lie if he wanted to claim that he didn’t have any doubts about his cooking skills, which is probably the main reason why Amanda eventually agreed – she just thought it could be fun to watch him fail in something so mundane as cooking. Not that she would know better.

They stopped at a video shop on the way back to Ripley’s apartment. Amanda wanted to pick up a movie so she could introduce Samuels to her own habits – fair is fair, as she said, and Samuels wasn’t going to argue with her. It could be nice, actually. When they finally made it back to Ripley’s apartment, it was about 11 am, and Samuels decided he should get on with preparing the food.

Amanda offered her help several times, even though she didn’t know much about cooking herself, but Samuels always declined. A human helping a synthetic? That just felt downright unnatural and wrong. It left Amanda sitting impatiently on the sofa, only sometimes checking up upon his progress while leaning on the counter, smirking. She could tell Samuels struggled, even though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, but she wasn’t going to push herself on him.

In the end, there was no surprise when she was met with something that didn’t even look edible. After giving it a chance, it was confirmed – she wasn’t sure what it was, but there’s no way she’d eat that.

“It turns out I’m… incapable,” the android stated with a straight face, yet the words themselves conveyed such a mixture of negative emotions that there was no doubt he felt as bad as a human would in his position.

“Oh god Christopher, you really need to stop talking as if you were some kind of appliance.”

 _But that’s technically what I am,_ he wanted to argue before quickly deciding against it.

“If anything, it just makes you more…”

“Human?”

“Normal. No one’s perfect. You don’t have to feel bad about it, you know,” she felt like she’s talking to a child who just failed a task for the first time and didn’t know how to process it. Although, when she thought about it, this probably was Samuels’ first failure of such a scale. “You know what they say. Practice makes perfect.”

“I will make sure to get an update and download actual recipes so I can make you some proper meals next time.”

“What? No, no, you’re not doing that.”

“I'm not?” Samuels looked at her, confused.

“No. I won't let you take the fun out of this!”

“I apparently fail to see the fun part.”

“You're just mad because you made a really bad mush out of your lovely vegetables,” Amanda smirked, clearly enjoying herself.

“Amanda, I’m fairly certain there's no way for me to experience such an emotion.”

“And yet here you are.”

Samuels watched her as she was desperately trying to keep a straight face. It wasn’t hard to tell that she was struggling.

“… I feel like you're mocking me,” he finally said, after taking a moment to process her body language.

“Maybe a little bit,” she admitted. “Oh come on, it’s really not a big deal. And if it makes you feel any better…” she added with a sly grin, turning around to pull a wrapped hamburger from the grocery bag. “I’m not going to be hungry.”

“… That didn’t help.”

“At least you have a motivation to work on your cooking.”

Yes, he definitely had.

Samuels hated to see Amanda eat fast food for lunch, but there was nothing he could do about it. Amanda assured him it’s fine. She told him she’s been eating this for years, which was a well-meant attempt to reassure him about her health, but hugely missed the intention as it made the synthetic even more uneasy. He tried to urge her into a more sensible eating habits, even asking her to focus on a healthy lifestyle, but Amanda brushed it off. Apparently, this will be much longer process than Samuels anticipated at first. Well, at least he made her smile today. That alone was a big improvement, and it will suffice for now. He didn’t hear her laugh ever since the last round of poker she played with Verlaine and Connor back on the Torrens, shortly before they all started preparing for hypersleep. It wasn’t hard to see Amanda fought her own demons, even though she tried to play it tough. The image of her having a good time seemed exceptionally rare, but Samuels still hoped he could bring her humor back to the surface.

When Amanda finished eating, she decided it would be a good idea to unpack her things, seeing that she didn’t get to it yesterday after they arrived. Samuels helped her as he could, mainly with the bigger or heavier stuff since Amanda’s shoulder still hurt. He took his time to learn the locations of individual household goods so he could use this knowledge later. When Amanda put her own outdoor clothing on a coat hook near the door, she turned around to look at Samuels.

“Hey, take off your jacket.” 

Samuels seemed to be caught off guard with such a specific demand. “Why?” he asked out of sheer curiosity, as he already started to unbutton his Weyland-Yutani uniform before Amanda could even answer.

“You don’t need it here. And the Company’s logo is making my skin crawl,” Amanda frowned.

“Oh. I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable,” the android sounded truly regretful. 

“Don’t worry about it, just take it off.” 

Samuels proceeded to do so. When he unbuttoned the last button, he grabbed the sides and in just few elegant moves revealed the neat, light beige dress shirt underneath. As he walked towards the coat hook to put the jacket next to Amanda’s own, she managed to steal a moment to glance at him. The shirt had a WY logo in the back too.

“Shit, they really make an effort huh,” Amanda visibly gritted her teeth. Samuels was confused before realizing his dress shirt is technically still a work outfit. “Don’t you have something else to put on? Something more comfortable, maybe?” 

“I’m afraid not. Synthetics don’t have a personal wardrobe. Does it bother you?”

“Well I don’t like to be reminded of the shitheads who put us through hell back on Sevastopol. At least not in my home,” Amanda crossed her arms. For a moment, Samuels was sure she’s going to kick him out after all, but Amanda had other plans. “We’ll have to buy you something new. And normal.”

It was midafternoon when Christopher and Ripley arrived at a small clothing shop in the market center of the WY station. Amanda herself wasn’t a fashion type of person, but everything was better than the Company’s shirt Samuels was wearing right now. And for Samuels, this was a nice activity. Furthermore, he’d appreciate to seem more human so Amanda could feel comfortable in his presence. That was more important than the Company’s dress code.

Samuels let Amanda lead the way to the men section of the shop. She stopped at the aisle with simple, plain t-shirts, and immediately grabbed the first one she saw to check the tag. When they found the right size that’d fit the android well, Amanda picked two more t-shirts of different color and they both made their way to the cash register.

“I guess you don’t really enjoy shopping,” Samuels noted, somewhat amused by Amanda’s frustration when the queue wasn’t moving fast enough.

“I absolutely despise it,” she retorted. “I just want to get it over with and be back home. Without any logos labelling you like some sort of product.”

Suddenly, a stranger’s voice caught their attention.

“Hey! I know you!”

Both Samuels and Ripley turned around to look who called out. It was a young woman coming towards them. She seemed friendly, as she greeted them with a soft smile before she turned to face Amanda. “You were on Sevastopol, right?”

“Well… yeah,” Amada stuttered in confusion. It was clear she had a hard time recalling if she ever met the woman before.

“Jana!” the woman pointed on her face, hoping the name would ring a bell. “I was there with Dinsky when it all broke down. I believe we’ve met shortly when Dinsky repaired the elevator to comms. You walked along with the bald guy in an orange jacket. John, I think?”

“Oh! You mean Axel. Right. I remember,” Amanda visibly loosened up. “You were one of the few people there who weren’t total assholes.”

“Yes, it’s… a shame. We’d have much easier time if we worked together instead of turning against each other, like everybody did. I tried to be nice to people, but it’s not easy when you’re being aimed at.”

“Tell me about it. The first thing Axel did was pressing his revolver right to the back of my head while I was detaching a magnetic lock.”

“He did what?” Samuels was taken aback by this revelation. Jana seemed less surprised.

“Well, I guess we can’t really blame him, everybody was scared. I heard some people even started shooting at sight. The guy probably just wanted to play it safe.”

“Maybe,” Amanda admitted, though she didn’t look quite as certain.

“Did he make it out too?”

“I don’t know. We got separated after… after the creature…”

“I understand,” Jana interrupted her before she could finish the sentence. “I’m sorry… for bringing it up.”

“It’s in the past now.”

Samuels could already tell that Amanda put on her tough act. The whole Sevastopol incident was very traumatic, nobody would want to be reminded of such a thing, so Amanda’s attempts to brush it off were expected. Perhaps it was even appropriate since they were in public, yet the android found it hard to ignore the rising tension. He fought the need to take Amanda’s hand, or to lightly squeeze her healthy shoulder to let her know he’s there and he’ll protect her no matter what. To make her feel safe.

Samuels wasn’t the only one who noticed the shift in the atmosphere.

“You know, there’s a special therapy for Sevastopol survivors… we can go together, if you want,” Jana was empathic. She went through the same horrible things after all, though in contrast to Amanda, Jana was clearly more open about her emotions and mental state.

“No. But thanks for the offer,” Amanda tried to smile. It wasn’t very convincing.

Samuels cleared his throat. “Maybe you could at least consider it, Amanda,” he proposed, hoping he’d manage to persuade her if he had more time. “You wouldn’t have to go again if you didn’t want to.”

The cashier suddenly interrupted their conversation with a loud yell: “Next please!”

“Hey, just… call me if you change your mind, okay?” Jana smiled softly. “My full name is Jana Relf. You’ll find me in the contacts list.”

“Sure,” Amanda nodded. “I’ll see you around.”

“See you!”

With that, they parted their ways again, and Amanda hasted to pay for the t-shirts and go home. Samuels could see she’s still uptight, but remained silent until they left the shop. He observed her as they walked back to her apartment. It was apparent she was deeply lost in thoughts and he wasn’t sure if it’s a good idea to disturb her, but finally decided to speak up after a while.

“Thank you for the new clothes,” he offered her a smile in hopes it’d make her feel better.

“No problem,” Amanda didn’t even raise her gaze to face him. Though Samuels still found himself confused by other’s emotions on many occasions, he could tell this wasn’t a good sign. He thought for a while before speaking up again.

“Would you like to talk?”

This time, Amanda looked at him. “About what?” she asked, surprised.

“About whatever is on your mind.”

“It’s nothing,” Amanda was quick to oppose. The last thing Samuels wanted to do was to pressure her, but he felt there’s something troubling her.

“Jana seems like a good person. I’m sure you could talk to her, if you prefer.”

“Oh, you think- no no, it’s not like that, it’s just…” Amanda breathed in, buying herself some time to think about the answer. “It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, Christopher. I just… I just want to forget, you know? It’s there in the back of my mind whatever I do, and it _suffocates_ me. When I talk about it, it just makes it worse, so please… let’s not discuss it anymore. At least not now.”

Samuels listened closely to what she has to say. “I understand… some things simply need time.”

“I guess…”

“I’m here for you nonetheless, Amanda. If you ever need anything.”

Amanda finally smiled again. It made the android feel relieved.

“Thank you.”


End file.
